Everybody changes. You learn, you grow, you experience new things.
Everything you encounter has some sort of effect on you. It’s just how life is.
For the most part, these changes happen subtly over the course of a few years. Slow enough that you barely even notice.
But this past year, I’ve changed the most. So much to the point that the phrase “You’ve changed”, has been used towards me. Which, I never know whether or not to take that positively or negatively.
This past year has tested my limits, made me soar, and sent me crashing to the ground. I cried more, laughed more, and spent a lot of days in confusion.
My heart got broken. I lost friends. And I learned that sometimes those “that’ll never happen to me” situations, may actually happen to you.
I also realized that I have the most incredible friends and family, who have taught and inspired me more than I could have possibly imagined. They make sure I don’t take life too seriously, but push me to work hard every day. They are there for every ab hurting laugh and every heartbreaking cry.
I had to figure out how to let people in, while also stitching up my wounds on my own. It wasn’t easy and I spent time questioning every move I made. But I don’t regret a thing. I can’t.
I’ve learned too much and experienced too many important things, to look back and say, “I really wish I could take that back”.
Am I proud of my decisions? No. Did I say and do things I probably shouldn’t have? Yes. Don’t we all. But that’s what helped me grow.
And it was all worth it.
Who I am now isn’t afraid to make mistakes, as long as I learn from them. I thought I was strong then, but I’m even stronger now. I know how to listen to my heart without completely ignoring my mind.
I’ve learned how to let things go and not bottle up all of my emotions. To be open to new experiences and people, and make those around me feel appreciated.
With every loss, I’ve gained something new. I’m still so young. I haven’t figured it all out. I’m still going to make stupid mistakes. And life is still going to test my limits.
And that’s okay.
So yes, I have changed. And quite frankly, I am proud of this change.
I am on a journey to be the best version of me possible. Whoever that may be. Only the future knows.