Wannabe Wine Tasting Outfit

Does this outfit not just SCREAM Wine Tasting?!

Plot twist: I didn’t actually go wine tasting (sadly) but I was thinking about it the whole time.

Details:

Dress: Steal about 4 years ago, I am pretty sure from KOHLS

Jacket: AMERICAN EAGLE. I think throwing a cute jacket like this around your waist when wearing the right dress or a pair of shorts brings such a fun vibe to an outfit

Hat: Picked this up at TARGET while I was out wearing this outfit and it totally brought everything together

Purse: CHANEL

Ta-Da! xo

 

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Simplicity!

Lately, I love the simplicity of outfits.

I paired a basic tank with some denim jeans, a cute necklace and instantly looked put together in under 5 minutes!

What simple pieces are you loving for in your wardrobe for summer?! Leave your comments down below! Xo

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What I’m Wearing:

Tank: American Eagle

Jeans: Norstrom Rack (Brand: Articles of Society)

Necklace & Bracelets: Charming Charlie

 

I Feel ALIVE ♡

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After my meditation this morning, I found myself bawling. But this time, they weren’t tears of sadness. I found myself crying because for the first time, in a long time, I can say that I am genuinely happy. I was crying because I am so proud of how far I’ve come within these past few months.

I was at a very dark place about 3 months ago, a hole I never thought I could dig myself out of.

Not that I’ve been unhappy per se. It’s hard to describe exactly what I’ve been feeling as of late. I’ve just been off..

But this morning, I woke up and just felt so ALIVE. Gosh, I am smiling so hard writing this right now.

It’s just that when you have been in such a dark place, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But today, I see that light.

And I promise, you will too one day. Maybe a month from now, a year, 2 years…we all take time to heal. You can’t rush your healing, but you can take the steps to better yourself everyday. Just please, don’t give up.

Life isn’t easy, and if it were easy, we would never feel that satisfaction of kicking its A$% when we come out on the other side stronger.

It will come back-it being the light which fills your heart, the tranquility which calms your nerves, and the clarity which your mind so dearly needs.

The giddiness, the playfulness, the confidence in being you. It will come back, I know it will.

I was the girl who was so heartbroken, and am now mending the pieces back together.

I was the girl who was once scared, and now I’m becoming fearless.

I was the girl who was at a very dark place, and now I am happier than ever before. Which, I thought I would have never said a few months ago.

It’s important to remember that everything is just a phase. This, like so much else in your life, will come to pass. That is the nature of impermanence. Nothing lasts.

Things are just different today. And I like this kind of different.

I feel change coming on.

Xo!

I Miss You, Even Though You Don’t Deserve To Be Missed.

Even after everything that happened, I still can’t seem to get you out of my head.

I’m okay during the day as long as I keep myself busy, but not at night…that’s a different story.

The second that all of the chaos of my day settles down, and my head hits my pillow, you’re all I see.

It’s been months and I know it shouldn’t be this way. We don’t even talk to each other anymore….but here you are, still living in my thoughts.

Nobody understands how much I miss you. No one even knows. Why would I tell them?

You were awful to me. You broke my heart into a million pieces. They would never get it…I don’t even get myself.

I don’t think about how things ended, though. I think about how we used to be, about who I thought you were.

All the things we used to do together, the road trips we’d take.

I think about how you used to make me laugh so hard I could barely catch my breath, and about our hundreds of inside jokes that no one else could ever comprehend.

For the first time in my life, I felt understood and loved. I was so lucky to have such an amazing connection with someone.

Then, I think about how it was all ripped away from me.

I think about how I’ll never have anything like that again, how I’ll never have you again.

I think about how sad it is that you were such a big part of me and then all of a sudden, one day, you were just gone.

I can’t stop missing you.

Then, I think about how fucking pathetic it is because I know for a fact that you don’t miss me.

I know that I’m chasing my own thoughts in circles, while you’re sound asleep.

I probably never cross your mind.

After all, you were the one who walked away from this. You are the one who caused me to hurt like this.

You were the one who gave up on us. 

And that’s when I realize…I’d rather miss the person I thought you were, than be with someone that is less than what I deserve.

I’d rather just miss you.

 

 

Breaking Up With Someone You Are Still In Love With

It’s not that I am leaving because I don’t love you. Not for a second will I let anyone think that I didn’t love you. Not for a second will I let anyone think that I’m choosing to close this door because it’s something I want to do.

It was supposed to be me and you. For as long as I looked into my future, I pictured doing it with you.

I pictured an amazing life full of adventure, laughter, and love. That’s what everyone longs for right?

Well guess what, it didn’t work that way. I didn’t get my happy ending. The fairytale didn’t end with me and you.

Instead, it ended with me gasping for air as I cried in my room praying that everything would work out.

Every single time things started getting back to the me and you that I fell in love with, I was let down.

I have put you first for so long, I have forgotten what it feels like to put myself first.

I got so caught up in loving you and what it took to try and get the happy ending that I wanted that I forgot the most important part; how to love myself.

I lost myself in loving you. I wasn’t tending to my own wants and needs. I wasn’t doing what was best for me. I began doing whatever it took to hold onto the idea in my head that things would end with me and you. Me and you. Funny huh?

But it’s time that I wake up. It’s time that I wake up and realize that the person I fell in love with, isn’t there anymore. The person I fell in love with who made me the center of their world, isn’t there anymore. It pains me to admit that.

In the meantime, I’ve been fighting for someone who isn’t there. I’ve been fighting SO hard to get the old you back, that I lost the old me in the process.

I stopped loving myself. I stopped doing things for me.

It’s time that changes.

It’s time I learn to love myself again. It’s time I get the old me back.

So, no. I’m not leaving because I don’t love you. I’m leaving because it’s time that I learn to love myself more.

 

Wednesday, May 10: Dealing With Difficult Moments

I am not sure how life can be so good, so perfect, and then all of a sudden a light switch goes off and life’s like, “okay time to put you through hell now”. Or at least that’s how I have felt these last couple of months, or rather ever since the start of 2017. Once 2017 hit it was like God has decided to test me in every way possible.

It’s not that I don’t trust him, because I do. But boy, have I been tested.

Although, in the midst of all of the pain and suffering life has thrown my way, it has truly made me appreciate the gift of life. We can either live our lives to the fullest, or dwell and always ask God, “Why me”, which I know, seems like the easier alternative sometimes.

During my meditation this morning, it had me repeat “May I learn to meet my pain with mercy and compassion. May I learn to meet the difficulties in my life, in a kind and compassionate way”. That right there really spoke to me. I think God was pulling a trick up his sleeve with that one, he knew exactly what I needed to hear.

You see, healing comes in waves. And you know, maybe today the waves hit the rocks, and that’s okay. That’s okay darling, you are still healing. There is beauty in pain and coming out stronger on the other side. I think the most beautiful people must go through hell first to see the beauty in this life.

God is working his magic in you in ways that are nearly impossible to see at times. Trust the process my love. I always pray to have eyes that see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God.

In the words of my loving Grandmother during her last days after being diagnosed with lung cancer, “Shit Happens”. She truly saw the light heartedness in every situation. Her courageous spirit keeps me going, because anyone who can bluntly say “shit happens” while going through absolute hell, is a hero of mine.

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In loving memory of my Nana: January 1, 1945 – May 7, 2017

xo

P.S. Meditation app I use is called Meditation Studio. (Not sponsored I have like 3 followers so chill).

Just wanted to share :)